A Heart-To-Heart with Stay-At-Home Moms

Myriah Grubbs Photography

Homemaker is the ultimate career.  All other careers exist for one purpose only: to support the ultimate career.   ~C.S. Lewis

Mountains of laundry, dirty diapers, never-ending dishes to wash, school with the children, housecleaning, sleepless nights, early mornings, conflict resolution between siblings...  So often this is the landscape of our days.  How is it that the house can look this messy when I've never stopped once today?  It's a stealthy lie that creeps in and makes us believe this is our only existence.  It frequently seems there is no light at the end of the laundry tunnel.  I know I've hit rock-bottom when I find myself feeling like an invisible creature with little meaning and not much to show for my existence; especially when the children can't seem to get along, the house is a wreck, and there is no energy to cook dinner.  Lack of sleep leaves me feeling dumb and empty.  It's always at these low moments when I look up and see the workforce moms, smartly-dressed, hair and make up always done, taking the world on by storm. Then I wonder, did I make the right choice?  Is this what my life is supposed to be about?

To be a mother is a woman's greatest vocation in life.  She is a partner with God.  No being has a position of such power and influence.  She holds in her hands the destiny of nations, for to her comes the responsibility and opportunity of molding the nation's citizens.  ~Spencer W. Kimball

So many opportunities are presented to women these days.  It's endless, really.  Long gone are the days of women being expected to keep the home fires burning and only being aloud to help in children's ministry, and this is a wonderful thing.  I love that the sky is the limit for my daughters.  Both the world and the church opens wide the doors of endless possibility, and applauds mothers working/serving outside the home.  This is not a post that bashes workforce moms one bit.  I have a dear friend who manages her business and relationship with her husband two children beautifully, and I deeply respect her for it.  This post is simply to encourage mothers who have made the choice to embrace the artistic lifestyle that is sometimes called SAHM (Stay At Home Mom).  It seems our western culture, both secular and sacred, has taken a pendulum swing when it comes to women and work, and I have noticed a dire need for us to find balance and truly respect and honor mothers who choose to stay at home.

All that I am or hope to be I owe to my angel mother.  I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life.  ~Abraham Lincoln

Constantly, I must remind myself what a privilege it is to be a keeper of this home.  It's easy to remember during the sweet moments.  The trick is bringing the current moment into a place of sweetness, especially when they are ugly to begin with.  I am learning to protect my connection with the Father, to take time to enjoy what I love, to gaze in awe of His creation, and to refuse to get swept away in the day-to-day drudgeries of cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and cleaning.  When I'm in good spirits, it changes the atmosphere of the home and I bring my family with me to a place of peace and joy.  It's a miraculous thing to realize the power that we have over our home life.  When I forget to do any of the things that centers and brings life, I find myself with no resource to help siblings solve a conflict, to defeat the piles of laundry and dishes with a heart of worship, or to make it through a day victoriously without much sleep.  It's those day-to-day moments that shape the lives of our children.  Each interaction with them is a sacred learning experience.  Being Jesus in these exchanges takes everything I have, and then I need to pull on Him because I just don't have enough on my own.  Nothing fills my heart more with reward than going to bed exhausted, knowing that my energy was spent where it counted: pouring into our children and protecting an environment that encouages the fruits of the Spirit.

Before you count the profit, count the cost of a working mother. ~A. Theodore Tuttle

The vocation of a mother steadfast at home varies from each valiant mother.  The unending differences of personalities, circumstances, family size, and location makes each homemaker as different as the snowflakes.  As a member of this elite, creative, artistic guild of mothers at home, it is imperative that we all hold a deep respect and honor for one another, and for each mother: full-time in home or out.  We each do our best with what we've been given to steward.  We each have shining moments and horrible ones.  We can be so hard on ourselves and in turn so critical of each other.  As members of this guild, and truly for the sake of mankind, it is crucial that we encourage and build each other up; to extend grace to one another and to ourselves.  Sometimes we feel invisible, but ladies, we are on the front lines and we must link arms and stay indivisible.  We are a crucial part of the Body of Christ and we must stay united.

I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I would bring it.
~Rose Kennedy

Mothers who choose to stay home: you are a hero.  You have chosen a ministry that is one of the most hidden.  You are imparting what has been imparted to you, linking the generational chains and giving your children opportunities to grow farther than you could have ever imagined.  You are shaping the world for the better, raising up world-changers, and deeply imprinting the mark of unconditional love into the hearts of the next generation.  When push comes to shove, it's the day-to-day interactions that shape grown-ups of the future, and you are choosing to be the one who imparts morality and virtue to them. What a noble thing you have chosen to give your life to.   Never forget how important you are.  Never forget that the One we long to delight sees you, even when no one else does.

Do without if you need to, but don't do without a mother. ~H. Burke Peterson

I'm sharing this at Simple Lives Thursday.